~Esther Mitchell, 2013~
I’ve always known the truth,
though I hid it behind masks.
I convinced you I was whole,
When my heart was broken,
Made you believe I was unafraid,
When my demons stalked me,
And terror was my only true companion.
Deep within my soul,
Tucked away within my mind,
The truth still tortures me.
Never gone, never forgotten,
It steps between me and the world,
Rips my heart to bleeding shreds,
And twists my thoughts with mistrust and fear.
Every day, I take one step forward,
Tell myself I can trust this day, this moment,
Convince myself the world won’t hurt me,
Yet I hold my breath, waiting, afraid,
Because I’m more fragile than I seem,
You can hurt me with a word, with a look, with silence.
There is a place within my heart,
As delicate as a glass bubble,
A place with which I’ve loved,
A place destroyed by love lost,
By silent pain and unspoken rage,
Until I fear my own self most of all.
