“Tonight”

~Esther Mitchell, 2013~

Tonight I’ll sit here,

staring through my eyes,

seeing what the world fails to see,

because there’s never time for me.

I’ll face the demon in the cupboard,

And those metallic whispers from the drawer,

And pretend, again, I don’t hear their taunts,

The silent bully, chanting “do it, do it, do it.”

I’ll close my heart within a shroud,

The armor no one sees,

And everyone appears to hate,

And tell myself I know the way back,

From this painful, desolate place.

I tell myself it’s enough I care,

That looking for another’s love is just weak,

And then I remember soaring in that sky,

And all my denials break, splinter, and fly apart.

So, tonight, I’ll sit here all alone,

In darkness, despite the surrounding glow,

And wonder why I bother being me,

When all I am appears to never be enough.

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